Yesterday was my first major holiday away from home, and also the first time I had hosted a major holiday myself, so it was difficult, exciting, and stressful all rolled into one. I certainly missed being with my family. On Thanksgiving at home, usually there is something like 30 people in my cousin's home in Western Massachusetts, and the day includes eating, laughter, and my 90-year-old grandmother playing the harmonica (last year we had four generations: my grandmother on the harmonica, my uncle playing the spoons, and my brother and my cousin's son playing guitar...quite a moment, really).
It didn't feel at all like Thanksgiving here. To begin with, it was something like 85 and sunny, which it is nearly every day. Green trees rustled in the slight breeze as I walked to Bamboo Junction to take a taxi to the clinic. I spent the morning (and a bit of the afternoon) in the clinic, dashing from place-to-place happily, pulling files, sticking needles in veins, smiling, talking, and handing out SAS brochures. The clinic day ended with Dr. Terhi (Finnish ID doctor who has been described by people here as a "white female rasta" because of her hair) and I (the two white girls) going into Ward 2 and taking the computer designated for use with HIV only but that hadn't yet made it to the clinic. At this point, it was 1:30, the time I had hoped to be home. I told people to come starting at 6. By the time I had made it through the grocery store, into a La Romaine taxi, and home, it was 2:30. I had less than four hours to cook everything and get things clean enough for nine people to come over. And so began an amazing cooking marathon. Somehow, by 6:10 (and my first two guests') arrival, I managed to get it all done.
The menu was marinated fish, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stove-top stuffing, corn bread (made by Dave) and mixed vegetables (made by Patsy), with pumpkin pie and chocolate cake (mostly in case the pumpkin pie didn't come out, since it was my first venture with a gas oven and also with real not canned pumpkin)). My guests were Dominic, Annie, and Paul, the family from church I had been initially connected to and who have been amazing to me (I love them dearly), Cindy (my ride to church) and her mom Patsy (also a lovely woman), Dave (a fellow Fulbrighter who is also helping out with a fund raiser tonight), and Vidya (my wonderful landlady) and her (beautiful and incredibly sweet) daughter Jaiya. It was an eclectic mix, but everyone got along wonderfully and seemed like they had a good time. Outside of the fish, all the food ended up very good as well--someone even complimented me on how fluffy the potatoes were (not bad for not having an electric mixer!). The problem with the fish was that I bought saltfish (highly preserved fish), and didn't realize that to really get the salt off, you had to rinse it and boil it, and I didn't have time to look for instructions or try it so it was wicked salty, to put it mildly. Still, overall definitely a success.
In light of Thanksgiving, I'd like to say some things for which I am grateful. If I were to list them all, we'd all be here hours, if not days. I'm grateful for life, for the friends and family I have who have been unconditional in their support. I'm grateful for my faith, because it makes me strong. I am grateful for the things that have happened, especially in the past year, that have changed me. I'm grateful to have seen what I did and met those I did in Cambodia; I will never forget. I am grateful to be in Trinidad now, and to really be living a dream. I'm grateful for the people here who have helped me create a home. I am grateful for the work in the clinic and the opportunities that have been given to me. I am grateful for my health and the health of those I love. I'm grateful for moments of beauty, the sea and the moon and light, for having air conditioning when I sleep, for animals (especially my little friend here, who crashed Thanksgiving till we ate and Vidya almost literally had to drag him (in fact, she carried him) next door), for rain. I am grateful for language, for diversity, for smiles. I am grateful for those little unexpected acts of kindness that really do change the world forever. And I am grateful for you, of course. Thanks for listening :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Working at the Clinic
Sorry, I know I continue to be delinquent in letting you all know I am alive and well. I promise I am, and I continue to fall in love with Trinidad and with my work and the people here on a daily basis. It's still strange to know that November is coming to a close and it's still hot, and even stranger to know that for the first time, I will be home for neither Thanksgiving nor Christmas, but I am blessed to have many good friends here that will keep me from being lonely.
Last Monday, I started working at the Ward 2 Clinic at San Fernando General Hospital, which is the HIV clinic. Honestly, two weeks into being there, I am doing exactly what I'd hoped to do in Trinidad, something I'd come to believe was my being overly idealistic along the same vein as finding a cheap apartment with a terrace that overlooked the ocean. It wasn't. I started at the clinic because I am supposed to represent South AIDS Support. My job? To hand out brochures (they call them trifolds here, but I'm having a hard time following suit because when I think trifolds, I think of the large poster boards with wings, a la Dr. Ingalls' animal behavior poster day or any poster at any conference) on SAS, let people know about the meetings and simply that we exist. For research, I was just trying to get myself known there among the patients and staff so I could hand out surveys and arrange for interviews. I'm in a medical setting working with people. Until I can practice as a doctor, could it really be better for me?
My first week, I mostly just talked to people, which was incredibly beautiful. I was surprised at how easily people talked to me. I anticipated hesitency, especially since I am a young foreigner, but many talked openly about their experience with HIV. The stories are heartbreaking and the people, inspiring. For those who let the disease get them down, there are at least two who are determined to be stronger than it. A woman I met Wednesday possessed this incredible optimistic spirit; she inspired me. One thing I've learned is that HIV does not discriminate. It's something you read in the literature, but it's another thing entirely to experience it firsthand. I've seen children as young as 4 or 5 who are HIV-positive (and so beautiful!) and a man who is in his late 60s/early 70s HIV-positive (and showing signs of HIV- or age-related dementia). I've seen East Indians and Afro-Caribbeans and everyone in between. I've seen people who abused drugs, who had promiscuous sex, and who were 100% faithful to their partner. HIV affects everyone, and also changes everyone. Almost everyone has faced some sort of stigma and discrimination, and most have only told a small fraction of people they know. Still, almost every patient had at least fragments of hope and strength and we do all we can to foster that.
Last Friday, it was discovered that I could take blood on humans, so every time now there is bloodwork to be done, they ask me to do it. It's exciting, and I think my skills are already vastly improving. (Exciting for me, because I love this stuff...I know I'm crazy!) I also had a chance to sit in on pre-HIV-test and post-test counselling, and I'll just say that hearing the stories make real some of the things you read about in magazines and novels, and that has a profound impact. Donny, one of the nurses there, is helping me learn how to do the pre/post-test counselling. Already, I've found many ways to make myself useful--phelbotomist, file-clerk, unofficial greeter, and SAS rep. I love it. And even better, the staff has been wonderful in trying to help me. They spoke with Dr. Terhi, who is pretty much the only infectious disease doctor in South if not all of Trinidad, and she is excited to have someone excited to learn around, and promised to do all she could to help me learn from her. I sat in on a consult with a patient who needed to go to second-round antiretroviral therapy because first-round wasn't working, and I can already tell she will be a great teacher. (If anyone knows of any books on ART medications, let me know! I want to learn!) I'm so excited and can hardly believe it--I feel like I am living a dream.
Love, blessings, and peace to you all! Let me know how life is in the US! Happy Thanksgiving! Stay tuned and thanks for listening :)
Last Monday, I started working at the Ward 2 Clinic at San Fernando General Hospital, which is the HIV clinic. Honestly, two weeks into being there, I am doing exactly what I'd hoped to do in Trinidad, something I'd come to believe was my being overly idealistic along the same vein as finding a cheap apartment with a terrace that overlooked the ocean. It wasn't. I started at the clinic because I am supposed to represent South AIDS Support. My job? To hand out brochures (they call them trifolds here, but I'm having a hard time following suit because when I think trifolds, I think of the large poster boards with wings, a la Dr. Ingalls' animal behavior poster day or any poster at any conference) on SAS, let people know about the meetings and simply that we exist. For research, I was just trying to get myself known there among the patients and staff so I could hand out surveys and arrange for interviews. I'm in a medical setting working with people. Until I can practice as a doctor, could it really be better for me?
My first week, I mostly just talked to people, which was incredibly beautiful. I was surprised at how easily people talked to me. I anticipated hesitency, especially since I am a young foreigner, but many talked openly about their experience with HIV. The stories are heartbreaking and the people, inspiring. For those who let the disease get them down, there are at least two who are determined to be stronger than it. A woman I met Wednesday possessed this incredible optimistic spirit; she inspired me. One thing I've learned is that HIV does not discriminate. It's something you read in the literature, but it's another thing entirely to experience it firsthand. I've seen children as young as 4 or 5 who are HIV-positive (and so beautiful!) and a man who is in his late 60s/early 70s HIV-positive (and showing signs of HIV- or age-related dementia). I've seen East Indians and Afro-Caribbeans and everyone in between. I've seen people who abused drugs, who had promiscuous sex, and who were 100% faithful to their partner. HIV affects everyone, and also changes everyone. Almost everyone has faced some sort of stigma and discrimination, and most have only told a small fraction of people they know. Still, almost every patient had at least fragments of hope and strength and we do all we can to foster that.
Last Friday, it was discovered that I could take blood on humans, so every time now there is bloodwork to be done, they ask me to do it. It's exciting, and I think my skills are already vastly improving. (Exciting for me, because I love this stuff...I know I'm crazy!) I also had a chance to sit in on pre-HIV-test and post-test counselling, and I'll just say that hearing the stories make real some of the things you read about in magazines and novels, and that has a profound impact. Donny, one of the nurses there, is helping me learn how to do the pre/post-test counselling. Already, I've found many ways to make myself useful--phelbotomist, file-clerk, unofficial greeter, and SAS rep. I love it. And even better, the staff has been wonderful in trying to help me. They spoke with Dr. Terhi, who is pretty much the only infectious disease doctor in South if not all of Trinidad, and she is excited to have someone excited to learn around, and promised to do all she could to help me learn from her. I sat in on a consult with a patient who needed to go to second-round antiretroviral therapy because first-round wasn't working, and I can already tell she will be a great teacher. (If anyone knows of any books on ART medications, let me know! I want to learn!) I'm so excited and can hardly believe it--I feel like I am living a dream.
Love, blessings, and peace to you all! Let me know how life is in the US! Happy Thanksgiving! Stay tuned and thanks for listening :)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Addendum
I realized I didn't really make it clear in my latest post, where I asked for help raising money for my friend and landlady Vidya to build her children's home. If you'd like to help, you can send me something to NH...16 Beebe Lane, Merrimack, NH 03054. I'll be coming home for a week right after Christmas and will be able to collect anything then. It would be easiest if writing a check if you could make it out to me, and then I will condense everything into one big check (that's certainly easier to travel with!), but if you'd like a receipt, I believe you could make the check out to V. Aguilar and as long as you're ok with waiting until I get back to Trinidad and mail it, you will have a receipt.
Also, if anyone has ideas as to how I can raise more money for her--really, I'm open to anything and everything--I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!
Also, if anyone has ideas as to how I can raise more money for her--really, I'm open to anything and everything--I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Something I Don't Normally Do....
For all those reading that didn't get my email, I have a favor to ask. Please read the story and let me know if you can help! It's something really important to me, or else you know I wouldn't ask.
I moved into my apartment in Trinidad a month ago, in part being able to stay where I am because my landlady, Vidya, made some concessions in cost so that I could afford it. My first Saturday, after a quiet week, she invited me over for the Hindu festival of Divali. If I asked, she would be there. At Christmastime every year, Vidya singlehandedly organizes a Christmas treat for over 100 kids from three children’s homes. This year, she has arranged for use of a water park, horseback riding, a bouncy castle, food…and she buys each child a gift and prizes for contests. She is constantly working to supply their needs, and her love for the children and the work with them is apparent in talking to her. You can see her eyes glowing. She makes you excited, makes you want to help. I wish you all could meet Vidya. She's inspiring. She has that spark, that love.
It’s Vidya’s dream to build her own children’s home in South Trinidad. She has all the tools she needs; she works on the business end of construction and land purchase, and of course, she has the passion. She’s told me the story of one young girl from Port-of-Spain, a girl who won the dance contest, surprising everyone because normally, she’s very quiet. Her addicted mother had sold her body to earn drug money. Another child, three years old and motherless, is in need of a home with a drug-addicted father. There are so many more such stories in Trinidad, and Vidya is determined to build a place those children can call home, where they can receive love and opportunity and the ability to make their dreams reality.
I know Vidya well enough to know beyond doubt that she will build this home. And because I love her, because I love the work she does and what she is able to inspire, I want to do everything in my power to help her make this dream a reality. And that is why I am writing. In this Christmas season, where generosity flows, I am asking if you would be willing to donate and help Vidya build her children’s home. I know times are tough and many people ask, but I am asking you to please consider giving a little. There are $6TT/$1US, so a little bit can go quite a long way. People have helped make my dreams a reality; please help me help make Vidya’s dream one too. With the way she wants it run, her home will give possibly hundreds of kids the ability to dream at all.
I moved into my apartment in Trinidad a month ago, in part being able to stay where I am because my landlady, Vidya, made some concessions in cost so that I could afford it. My first Saturday, after a quiet week, she invited me over for the Hindu festival of Divali. If I asked, she would be there. At Christmastime every year, Vidya singlehandedly organizes a Christmas treat for over 100 kids from three children’s homes. This year, she has arranged for use of a water park, horseback riding, a bouncy castle, food…and she buys each child a gift and prizes for contests. She is constantly working to supply their needs, and her love for the children and the work with them is apparent in talking to her. You can see her eyes glowing. She makes you excited, makes you want to help. I wish you all could meet Vidya. She's inspiring. She has that spark, that love.
It’s Vidya’s dream to build her own children’s home in South Trinidad. She has all the tools she needs; she works on the business end of construction and land purchase, and of course, she has the passion. She’s told me the story of one young girl from Port-of-Spain, a girl who won the dance contest, surprising everyone because normally, she’s very quiet. Her addicted mother had sold her body to earn drug money. Another child, three years old and motherless, is in need of a home with a drug-addicted father. There are so many more such stories in Trinidad, and Vidya is determined to build a place those children can call home, where they can receive love and opportunity and the ability to make their dreams reality.
I know Vidya well enough to know beyond doubt that she will build this home. And because I love her, because I love the work she does and what she is able to inspire, I want to do everything in my power to help her make this dream a reality. And that is why I am writing. In this Christmas season, where generosity flows, I am asking if you would be willing to donate and help Vidya build her children’s home. I know times are tough and many people ask, but I am asking you to please consider giving a little. There are $6TT/$1US, so a little bit can go quite a long way. People have helped make my dreams a reality; please help me help make Vidya’s dream one too. With the way she wants it run, her home will give possibly hundreds of kids the ability to dream at all.
Little Things of Beauty
It's been mostly quiet, though I've managed to fill each day to the brim. Some things never change. :)
Last weekend, the church I've been going to had a workshop. It concluded Sunday night, with some wonderful speaking by an American named Parker Henderson, who an old man, short and with white hair and classes and complete by being slightly hard of hearing. He and his wife Donna had been missionaries in Thailand, and then spent 30 years in Trinidad. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect him to preach quite so powerfully and with the energy he did. And then Dominic spoke. He has a beautiful faith and passion that comes through whenever he speaks, and that night was no exception. The theme was "A Light to the Nations," and the lights went out during Dominic's talk. It ended up raising the energy level though, and made the message come through clearer. The highlight of the workshop was the church (which was as full as I've seen it) was singing a beautiful song called "There is God." Can you imagine 250+ people singing a capella in four-part harmony with all their heart there is a God/He is alive/in Him we live/and we survive/from dust our God/created man/He is our God/the great I Am as an echo. It was incredible.
Sunday was also All Saints Day. Halloween here is just starting to become Westernized, but people light candles and celebrate the dead. To get to church, we drive by a cemetery (which is actually right on a hill overlooking the ocean...a place I'd like to be buried). It was late evening, already dark. Cars were lined up on the side of the road, and as we turned the corner, graves were clustered with flowers and people and alight with candles, giving it an orange-y glow in the twilight silence. It literally took my breath away for a moment.
On Monday, as I walked to work, it started to rain. In Trinidad, we'll occasionally get days or mornings where it pours heavier or lighter for all of it, but rain typically comes and goes over regions with the clouds. We'll get one dark set of clouds--and you can usually see them coming from the sea or the hills--and it will pour for ten minutes or so, but around you, there is blue sky and sunshine. Monday was like that, one cloud raining. I had my brilliantly blue and green polka-dotted umbrella up, and I was watching the sun, and I made the comment aloud: Why don't we have more rainbows here? I turned around, and there one was, a perfect arc. It stretched from the corner of the land, over the sea and faded away just above the refineries. I stopped; Oh God, that's beautiful! The colors seemed to become more brilliant as I stood there, seems to multiply and magnify. I was reminded of the double rainbow I had seen while leaving the lab last summer, where the second one was as vibrant as most single rainbows. As this thought passed, I noticed a second, fainter rainbow above it. This one too, seemed only to glow brighter with time. I just stood there staring at it, beaming, for a few minutes. What more can you say but thank you?
Blessings to you all, and much love! Thanks for listening :)
Last weekend, the church I've been going to had a workshop. It concluded Sunday night, with some wonderful speaking by an American named Parker Henderson, who an old man, short and with white hair and classes and complete by being slightly hard of hearing. He and his wife Donna had been missionaries in Thailand, and then spent 30 years in Trinidad. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect him to preach quite so powerfully and with the energy he did. And then Dominic spoke. He has a beautiful faith and passion that comes through whenever he speaks, and that night was no exception. The theme was "A Light to the Nations," and the lights went out during Dominic's talk. It ended up raising the energy level though, and made the message come through clearer. The highlight of the workshop was the church (which was as full as I've seen it) was singing a beautiful song called "There is God." Can you imagine 250+ people singing a capella in four-part harmony with all their heart there is a God/He is alive/in Him we live/and we survive/from dust our God/created man/He is our God/the great I Am as an echo. It was incredible.
Sunday was also All Saints Day. Halloween here is just starting to become Westernized, but people light candles and celebrate the dead. To get to church, we drive by a cemetery (which is actually right on a hill overlooking the ocean...a place I'd like to be buried). It was late evening, already dark. Cars were lined up on the side of the road, and as we turned the corner, graves were clustered with flowers and people and alight with candles, giving it an orange-y glow in the twilight silence. It literally took my breath away for a moment.
On Monday, as I walked to work, it started to rain. In Trinidad, we'll occasionally get days or mornings where it pours heavier or lighter for all of it, but rain typically comes and goes over regions with the clouds. We'll get one dark set of clouds--and you can usually see them coming from the sea or the hills--and it will pour for ten minutes or so, but around you, there is blue sky and sunshine. Monday was like that, one cloud raining. I had my brilliantly blue and green polka-dotted umbrella up, and I was watching the sun, and I made the comment aloud: Why don't we have more rainbows here? I turned around, and there one was, a perfect arc. It stretched from the corner of the land, over the sea and faded away just above the refineries. I stopped; Oh God, that's beautiful! The colors seemed to become more brilliant as I stood there, seems to multiply and magnify. I was reminded of the double rainbow I had seen while leaving the lab last summer, where the second one was as vibrant as most single rainbows. As this thought passed, I noticed a second, fainter rainbow above it. This one too, seemed only to glow brighter with time. I just stood there staring at it, beaming, for a few minutes. What more can you say but thank you?
Blessings to you all, and much love! Thanks for listening :)
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