Fulbright Orientation

Two days home from DC, NY in four days, Cambodia in ten. Now that the last "place" is off my checklist, the next time I go somewhere, it will include Cambodia. It feels so incredibly...real. I almost can't believe it. I oscillate between exhilaration, anticipation, and fear.

The orientation was wonderful. My roommate was also going to Trinidad, and she went to Amherst, which is so close to where my extended family has lived forever. She's the only one of the four of us going to Trinidad who is not doing AIDS work, but she is instead doing creative writing, so still tied to the rest of us between the writing component to my goals in Trinidad and another whose project includes "ethnomusicology." It was mostly informative, both in practical knowledge (safety, grant details, health insurance) and experiential knowledge (those who have been sharing their experience). I wish more of the region-specific stuff dealt with the Caribbean, but it was still good to hear. Those who talked about their time in the country were most helpful. I'm not the kind of person who learns from websites or bland information being spread, but rather from doing, seeing myself. This was close--it was personal narrative.

I know now to bring dress clothes to Trinidad, to wait until I get there to get a permanent place to stay so I can be sure it's safe. I learned we are called citizen diplomats and are supposed to do more than just our projects, that volunteering and community involvement and simply getting to know people are the most valuable things you can give and take away. It may take three doors with locks to get inside, and you always have to be aware, but it doesn't mean you should spend all your time there afraid--just cautious. It will take time to adjust, but most fall in love with it and say the experience defined their lives. I am excited to get to know a different country, to work with the brilliant Fulbrighters I met and be inspired. I know the country's "Trini time" will be different for a type A like me...that will be interesting :)

In general, I need to say that I loved being back in DC in general. That city feels like home to me in so many ways. It's become a friend. I walked by a few homeless and realized that meeting their eyes acknowledged them and once you know them as human, you cannot ignore it, cannot unknow it. The question is what will you do, and that I don't know. I watched the rain (and hail) fall in torrents, and it was beautiful when seen from a window, notebook in hand. Just walking around and existing within the city is enlivening in its own way.

Thank you Sean and Leonor (and Lena and Ana) for giving me a place to sleep and for generally taking wonderful care of me for the days on either end. I am so blessed to know you. Thank you Drs. Kumar, Pataki, and Smith, and Marcia at Suburban for your smiles and the wonderful faith you have in me, only having known me for two summers. To the Meltzer Lab, I am glad to see little has changed. I will be back :)

From the Gospel on Sunday: Do not be afraid. but have faith. It felt as though it were directed at me.

God bless you all. Thanks for listening :)