Being Home

I am at the tail end of my ten-day stint in the US, probably the only time my feet will touch US soil between the beginning and end of my grant (we are only given two weeks of "vacation" outside the country). To be totally honest, I wasn't sure how the trip would be, only because I am not even close to the same person I was when I left for Trinidad three and a half months ago. For the first time, I am really evolving totally independently of anyone I had known. Even at Marist, I still talked weekly to my parents, came home every few months. Coming to Trinidad, I knew no one. And I grew.

As it turned out, the vacation was lovely. My mom had taken the week off from work, my brother was home from school. We visited family. My 90-year-old grandmother played the harmonica for us at Christmas and made sure her blind friend felt at home and ate well. My (almost) seven-year-old cousin's little girl (cousin once removed?) greeted me with a huge hug and a question of "where have you been?" I got another tremendous hug from a surrogate grandmother, one of my dad's wonderful clients. I caught up with a few wonderful friends. For the first time in years, we spent New Years by ourselves, relaxing and watching Woody Allen. It was nice to be home, to spend time with my family, who I love more than anything.

One thing that this year has shown me is that I have a home in many places. At first, the question was--what do I do now? Where is home, then? And then I realized I really should just shut up and be grateful--finding a home and a family everywhere you go really is an incredible blessing. I am home in NH, where I grew up, where my neighbors have watched me grow up and my parents will always welcome me with love and open arms. I am home in NY, where Maria and Richard have adopted me into their family, and where I first started to grow up on my own (and where I have many good friends who helped me along the way). I am home in Cambodia, where I have nine older brothers and work that fulfills me. And I am home in Trinidad, a home I have made for myself by the grace of God, where I have friends who love me dearly and take care of me and an apartment I found on my own. And these things don't end when I leave. My parents, Maria, Dominic and Annie--they will always be there for me, no matter where in the world I am or who I become through those experiences. I don't know I could find a more powerful or important blessing anywhere, and to those who love me and who I love--you inspire me and give me strength daily.