Initial Impressions

Trinidad is labeled a developing country, which makes sense--I think I wrote last time that my very first impression of the country was that it was a cross between Phnom Penh and the US, which isn't too far from the truth. There are parts of the country that are very Westernized; for one, there is a lot of fast food. Pizza Hut, Dominoes (I really wondered if there were pizza delivery scooters but didn't dare ask), Subway, TGI Friday's, Long John Silver, and KFC are among them--though interestingly, both Stanley and Gabrielle told me that McDonalds went out of business here (good for the Trini!). I guess beef just isn't their thing. Still, it kind of caught me off guard when Gabrielle took me to a film festival on Friday and outside the movie theater was a strip mall of fast food places! With the movie theaters, large Home Depot-esque stores, internet and cell phones being very prevalent, and other things though, you can really see Western edge.

Culturally, it is still very interesting. Despite there being two primary ethnic groups--the Afro-Caribbeans and the East Indians--on Trinidad, there isn't too much mixing of cultures. I know (and Stanley and Gabrielle are examples) that a mutual appreciation for the other culture also exists, but the East Indians live in separate areans pretty much from the Afro-Caribbeans. Still, the fact that so much diversity exists in an island the size of Delaware in relative harmony is nothing short of a miracle, same with the mosque and Hindu temple located within a few miles of each other (and of a KFC) in a predominanty East Indian neighborhood. Religion is huge here, particularly Christianity in the cities. It's not uncommon to see taxis, maxis, or other cars with some proclamation about Jesus in fancy script across the back window, or to hear Christian R&B music blaring from a car's speakers. At the same time though, hearing "Let there be peace on Earth" on the organ from the Anglican church across the street on my first Sunday brought with it an incredible sense of comfort.

So far, so good in Trinidad. I start working at South AIDS Support in the morning, a job that promises to be all I hoped and more, and I give a presentation on AIDS at an elementary school Wednesday morning. I am grateful to be kept busy already, and to hopefully begin a routine (as much as can be when you'll be late to your first day of work, miss half your third, and all of your fifth...my security briefing at the embassy is on Friday). I very much look forward to finding an apartment (more challenging than it sounds, since little is posted online or in the papers in San Fernando) and establishing a home here. Then I will really begin to feel comfortable here. Stanley has been wonderful as far as taking me places and getting me used to things, like taxis (tomorrow morning) and where various sites are. Gabrielle is a wonderful woman, and I am happy to know her. Her house in a more rural area is beautiful, and she promises to be a good friend while I am here. Bill and Marie-Claire also introduced me to Dominic and Annie (via email), and they have been wonderful as well, as far as taking me to church and helping me build a community there. I look forward to the next week continuing my progress of falling in love with Trinidad! Love to you all, and thanks for listening :)

Welcome to Trinidad

After a close to a year of work on the Fulbright and six months of waiting to hear, and another six months of waiting to leave, I am finally here. I could hardly believe it when suddenly it was Thursday night and I was downstairs trying desperately to figure out how ten months of your life fits into two suitcases and a carry-on backpack (and a carry-on shopping bag....don't tell anyone, but you can get away with a shopping bag as a third carry-on!). I did it though, and with a gift of a spectacular sunset over the Caribbean from the plane to tell me I was going to be ok (along with much praying), I landed. And now I'm here.

I'd be lying if I said it was easy, starting life in another country where you know no one. The first couple of days were especially hard, as, well, it's overwhelming. But gradually, I am settling into the country and learning the patience required to begin the project. I interview tomorrow with what may be the place from where most of my patients come, and I am considering an apartment in downtown San Fernando (that I can't move into until November 1) if all goes well there. I finally have a phone, and I will be going to a Bible class tomorrow night, so I am finally getting out to meet people as well. Oh, and lest I forget her, Dr. Brathwaite, my in-country adviser, is wonderful as far as helping me make connections and find things to do, and she is always making sure I am ok. Stanley, the man who cares for her second house in San Fernando is also wonderful, taking me everywhere I need to go this week.

So what's it like? My impressions of driving it in the dark with Stanley Friday night were that it was a mix of Phnom Penh and the US--which I suppose makes sense as Trinidad is right between the two as a developing nation. It's tropical, but there are not as many palm trees as you'd expect (though there are some beautiful white flowers along with banana trees and mango trees behind the house). It's an oil nation, so en route to the shopping center, there were towers with flames dancing atop them (like giant torches with a skinny base) in our line of vision. Fruit stands with dangling bananas and apples and more dot the side of the road every few miles. Cars are "right hand drive," which takes a bit of getting used to, though the traffic is not terrifying because it is 90% saner than the traffic in Phnom Penh, what with the motor bikes flying everywhere. The English the Trini speak is not difficult for me to follow (at least not now, but I haven't spoken to many), but those I have talked to are either workers or know I speak American English so tone down the dialect. It's certainly hot--and muggy (I envy all those experiencing fall!), but I now have a fan at night, which helps a lot, and also helps with the mosquitoes (no screens; I woke up my first morning covered in bites, some of which turned into welts...oh, those Southern mosquitoes!). The country is really lovely. All those with whom I've been emailing have been so kind, as have Stanley and Dr. Brathwaite. There are a lot of wide open spaces, especially as you head into the more rural areas, so you can look over what once were sugar cane fields and watch the clouds build and taper, and know the sea is out there. From the high points in San Fernando, you can look out and see the ocean beyond the city, a beautiful blue-green with oil tankers the only obstacles to unobstructed blueness and sea-meets-sky harmony. From the right spots on the island, you can even see Venezuela on a clear day.

I know I will learn to love Trinidad. It's not perfect, and I didn't have that immediate this is where I'm supposed to be as I did in Cambodia, but I know still it's where I am supposed to be. I look forward to having a place of my own, and a routine, and getting to know people. I most look forward to the point where I call someplace here home by accident. That's when I'll know. Stay tuned, let me know how you all are doing! God bless, and thanks for listening :)

Pre-Departure II

Here we go again. In twelve hours, I'll be in the air, an hour away from Houston. In 24 hours, I will be in Trinidad, hopefully getting ready to sleep. I can hardly believe it. The time in the States went by so quickly. I have no idea what's to come, but I know it will challenge me and change me, and I am excited. I am also nervous, of course, but less so than pre-Cambodia. Packing was an adventure, most certainly :) Not living as simply as I'd like, but let's see what happens once I get there....

Love to you all! Stay tuned and thanks for listening! :)

Getting Ready to Go...Again

In five days, I will be en route to Trinidad. I can hardly believe it, and yet, I am excited and ready (almost). This week will be a chaos of visiting and getting ready, but that's the way I like it :) I have been so blessed thus far that things seem to be coming together nicely. I've heard nothing but good things about the woman who is my in-country affiliation, about working with her and all of her connections. She also responds quickly to email, which is certainly nice! A friend of one of Dr. Romero's friends has also been fantastic, as far as answering questions about things, and the one person with connections to Trinidad that I've actually met in person will be there when I arrive, which is also somehow comforting. Probably the biggest help was speaking with a previous Fulbrighter to Trinidad (who, ironically, is completing her fourth year of medical school in Washington, DC). Gillian was able to tell me about the country, what to wear, and give me a little insight into her own experience, which eased my nerves a LOT and made me REALLY excited to go. Today, Marie-Claire put me in touch with people connected to the church in Trinidad, which also brings a sense of peace. So I've gained quite a few offers as to places to stay when I get there, and people to pick me up from the airport. Not too bad, considering I didn't start really thinking about all of this until last Tuesday.

Again, it has been really fantastic to see so many people since I've been home. I will take all of that with me to Trinidad; know it makes me stronger. I feel so blessed to have you all in my life, and really, I feel just incredibly blessed in general. Love to you all! Thanks for listening! :)

Adjusting and Readjusting

I've officially been back in the US for two and a half weeks, and what a whirlwind it has been! My first week was mostly just coming off of jet lag and re-learning American culture. Coming back was definitely a shock to body and mind. I had no problem staying up later than planned when I came home, but then my body decided to wake up at 5am...so it took a little while for it to learn that nighttime is not a 4-hour nap, but rather a time to get 7-8 hours of good sleep. It was also interesting to go from the ship in Cambodia to what felt like being thrown into the heart of the consumerism in America--NYC. Don't get me wrong, I love NYC and am constantly fascinated by it. But as I was reminded by my $60 cab fare and $90 train fare, things cost more here. And then there are overpriced restaurants and souvenir shops shouting T-shirts with "I <3 NY" and trinkets no one really needs. I longed for the simpler life in the villages of Cambodia. (I still do.) It was wonderful to see a lot of the extended family when I came back, and to have a week where my brother and I were both home.

My second week took me to NY to visit Marist and all the friends there that this time, I won't see again for ten months (and that is a really strange thing to think about). I arrived on move-in day for the upperclassmen, which is when I (theoretically) would have moved in if I were still a Marist student (in reality, I never did; I always worked freshman move-in). That was strange. As I walked around Marist, I felt comfortable of course, but no longer at home. It was like I knew I didn't belong there anymore, knew I could no longer really call it home. Still, it was absolutely wonderful to see everyone, and to know how many people really care about me. To those I didn't get a chance to see, or didn't see for very long--I'm sorry! I wish I had had more time (why is it the only days I have that are significantly longer than 24 hours are days in which I'm flying? I don't need an extra 11 hours on a plane!). To those I did, thank you for making the time for me. And of course, thank you Maria for giving me a place to crash and to call home for the week! I am discovering that I am finding homes for myself all over the world.

All in all, adjusting to the US has been a challenge. As Dr. Dingman tells me, everything has changed and nothing has changed. I can feel it, and it is quite jarring, but I wouldn't trade it and the growth I know accompanies that for anything. My experience in Cambodia changed me in ways I cannot even begin to describe, and once you see poverty like that and have faces and smiles and human beings to accompany it, you can't forget it. I certainly hope and pray that I never will, and no matter what life brings, I will not lose those faces. In some ways, I tell people I am "rebelling against Western culture" in my quiet ways. For instance, I haven't worn shorts except to work out and sleep since I've been home. I didn't in Cambodia, and I was comfortable like that, so why change? It would feel strange to me any other way. I felt strange being in Starbucks so often last week after not having seen a single one in Cambodia.

You know, I don't think I'll adjust to the US before I leave for Trinidad, and that's not really a bad thing. (I will be en route in 11 days! I can hardly believe that!) I am looking forward to what's coming. Thank you to my family and all the friends I have seen since coming back to the states. You've all made me see how loved I am, and that means so much. I will take that with me and it will be an immense comfort as I am adjusting to life and making friends in Trinidad. Much love and prayers back to you all! Stay well. Thanks for listening :)