Sorry, I know I continue to be delinquent in letting you all know I am alive and well. I promise I am, and I continue to fall in love with Trinidad and with my work and the people here on a daily basis. It's still strange to know that November is coming to a close and it's still hot, and even stranger to know that for the first time, I will be home for neither Thanksgiving nor Christmas, but I am blessed to have many good friends here that will keep me from being lonely.
Last Monday, I started working at the Ward 2 Clinic at San Fernando General Hospital, which is the HIV clinic. Honestly, two weeks into being there, I am doing exactly what I'd hoped to do in Trinidad, something I'd come to believe was my being overly idealistic along the same vein as finding a cheap apartment with a terrace that overlooked the ocean. It wasn't. I started at the clinic because I am supposed to represent South AIDS Support. My job? To hand out brochures (they call them trifolds here, but I'm having a hard time following suit because when I think trifolds, I think of the large poster boards with wings, a la Dr. Ingalls' animal behavior poster day or any poster at any conference) on SAS, let people know about the meetings and simply that we exist. For research, I was just trying to get myself known there among the patients and staff so I could hand out surveys and arrange for interviews. I'm in a medical setting working with people. Until I can practice as a doctor, could it really be better for me?
My first week, I mostly just talked to people, which was incredibly beautiful. I was surprised at how easily people talked to me. I anticipated hesitency, especially since I am a young foreigner, but many talked openly about their experience with HIV. The stories are heartbreaking and the people, inspiring. For those who let the disease get them down, there are at least two who are determined to be stronger than it. A woman I met Wednesday possessed this incredible optimistic spirit; she inspired me. One thing I've learned is that HIV does not discriminate. It's something you read in the literature, but it's another thing entirely to experience it firsthand. I've seen children as young as 4 or 5 who are HIV-positive (and so beautiful!) and a man who is in his late 60s/early 70s HIV-positive (and showing signs of HIV- or age-related dementia). I've seen East Indians and Afro-Caribbeans and everyone in between. I've seen people who abused drugs, who had promiscuous sex, and who were 100% faithful to their partner. HIV affects everyone, and also changes everyone. Almost everyone has faced some sort of stigma and discrimination, and most have only told a small fraction of people they know. Still, almost every patient had at least fragments of hope and strength and we do all we can to foster that.
Last Friday, it was discovered that I could take blood on humans, so every time now there is bloodwork to be done, they ask me to do it. It's exciting, and I think my skills are already vastly improving. (Exciting for me, because I love this stuff...I know I'm crazy!) I also had a chance to sit in on pre-HIV-test and post-test counselling, and I'll just say that hearing the stories make real some of the things you read about in magazines and novels, and that has a profound impact. Donny, one of the nurses there, is helping me learn how to do the pre/post-test counselling. Already, I've found many ways to make myself useful--phelbotomist, file-clerk, unofficial greeter, and SAS rep. I love it. And even better, the staff has been wonderful in trying to help me. They spoke with Dr. Terhi, who is pretty much the only infectious disease doctor in South if not all of Trinidad, and she is excited to have someone excited to learn around, and promised to do all she could to help me learn from her. I sat in on a consult with a patient who needed to go to second-round antiretroviral therapy because first-round wasn't working, and I can already tell she will be a great teacher. (If anyone knows of any books on ART medications, let me know! I want to learn!) I'm so excited and can hardly believe it--I feel like I am living a dream.
Love, blessings, and peace to you all! Let me know how life is in the US! Happy Thanksgiving! Stay tuned and thanks for listening :)
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Hey Nicki,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are in the middle of something tremendous. I remember my experiences with HIV/AIDS affected people in South Africa and you are absolutely right, the disease knows no age or race or gender or anything. I remember when I visited the hospice, we talking with the caretakers about counciling and how important it was to work with the individual and their families to help them deal with the emotional impacts and the social pressure. I remember being amazed at all the little details they went through to make sure people remained hopeful, using bright colors on the walls and making sure the building was always clean and smelled fresh. Thank you for sharing your experiences and reminding me of my own.
This is a great post nicki, i can really see you at your work doing all that you say you are doing. I hope we can eventually talk on skype or something...i miss you friend!
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